Wednesday, December 6, 2017

dear diary | axolotl stories | self-sustaining eco-system

Dear diary,

Mom got tired just looking at the to do list for my “self-sustaining eco-system.” 

“Self-sustaining eco-systems” are no joke. Mom thought: load up the tank with plants. Poop will feed the plants. Plants will flourish. Poop will be gone. 

But it turns out plants take in oxygen when it is night time when there is no light. Which competes with my need for oxygen. Which will make me gulp for air all through the night in spite of all the plants that are there for my well-being.

Mom said a few choice bad words. Something about her mother.

So mom now has a new plan. A turkey baster. She is going to use it as a pooper-scooper. She picks up after the dog, cats, and chickens. So she is going to use the direct method of dealing with my poop. Just scoop it up everyday. Or I should say, siphon it up. With the turkey baster. 

She has to look at my poop everyday, but at least she won’t have to touch it. That’s what she is thinking. I hate to tell her that it never works out that way.

Oh, by the way, mom had to chop off the narrow tip of the turkey baster. The opening was too small for my large poop. The opening is now about the diameter of a dime. I’m worried that it still won’t be large enough to handle my poop. Oh well. We’ll see what happens.

I love my mommy. She takes good care of me.

With love,

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